


well alrighty aphrodite

by veel



Series: rory's umbrella academy oneshots!!! [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: "stores don't have genders diego", Bickering, Bisexual Allison Hargreeves, Bisexual Diego Hargreeves, Coming Out, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Gen, Good Sibling Allison Hargreeves, Good Sibling Diego Hargreeves, Nonbinary Number Five | The Boy, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Protective Allison Hargreeves, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Protective Siblings, Shopping, Shopping Malls, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, Trans Allison Hargreeves, Trans Diego Hargreeves, i couldn't stop smilin while writin this, i don't know why though JKLDFSJKLFD, i forgot how happy writin makes me sdfkljjklsfd, i'm sorry but i might've lost it while writin that, look i only shop at walmart n kroger what do you want from me, no i've never been to sephora can you tell??, the ideal comin out, they/them pronouns for five!!!, this is purely self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26129374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veel/pseuds/veel
Summary: allison n diego take five to go shoppin after they come out as nonbinary!!
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Allison Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves
Series: rory's umbrella academy oneshots!!! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1897294
Comments: 16
Kudos: 114





	well alrighty aphrodite

"i'm nonbinary." two words. three syllables. four months to finally say it. five felt better, as if the weight of the world had been lifted off their chest. they couldn't help but smile.

they scanned their sibling's faces. luther looked slightly confused but smiled anyway. vanya nodded and looked like she wanted to say something, although five doubted she would say anything. diego was expressionless which slightly worried five, but they figured it'd be alright in the end. klaus leaned against five. he'd already known, and five was happy to have someone next to them as they annouced it to their other siblings. allison jumped up from her seat and ran towards her sibling. she engulfed them in a large hug that sent them stumbling backwards. five regained their balance and smiled. they could almost cry. after months of worrying, at least one of his siblings other than klaus accepted them.

"i'm so glad you told us," allison whispered into their ear. five smiled and hugged her back. they stood like that for a couple more seconds before allison pulled back. she moved to stand next to klaus. he rested his head on her shoulder. luther raised a hand slowly. everyone turned to look at him.

"so...what does 'nonbinary' mean again?" klaus frowned slightly. he had explained what nonbinary meant when he came out as genderfluid. he had anticipated luther forgetting, but not that soon.

"means fivey here isn't a boy or a girl," diego explained briefly.

"oh. then what's a gender-neutral term for a sibling?" luther asked. no one spoke. everyone stared at him. five blinked in disbelief. luther took a minute to think, and then things seemingly clicked. "i'm so dumb," he muttered.

"you got that right." diego looked away from the group. he seemed like he wanted to leave. five frowned.

"what's on your mind?" allison beat them to it, but they didn't complain. talking wasn't their strong suit. diego scowled up at her. he shifted in his seat.

"you all are starting to get on my nerves."

"and why is that?" it was klaus who spoke next, which slightly surprised five.

“look, just tell me your pronouns and i’ll be on my way.” diego looked at them, ignoring klaus. allison frowned.

“you don’t have to be so rude,” she scolded. five smirked. diego huffed and turned away again. “look, diego, why don’t you and i take five shopping? we could get some new clothes for them so they don’t have to wear that uniform anymore!”

diego laughed coldly. “no, no way. absolutely not.”

“so, where do we go first?” convincing diego to come along had been the easy part, but navigating the mall would be much harder. “i still don’t understand why we can’t just raid your closet.”

“diego, i don’t think you or five wants the shit in my closet. besides, i can pay for everything.” allison smiled. diego sighed and dropped the subject. five looked between their two siblings.

“i’ve never really been to a mall. at least, not one with living people.” the silence that followed slightly scared them. allison and diego looked at them, concern etched into their features. five frowned. “stop staring,” they ordered. their voice trembled slightly.

“anything you wanna talk about, bro?” diego asked. “wait, can i still call you bro? or do you want me to call you sib?”

“call me ‘sis’ for all i care,” five answered with a wave of their hand. “and no, i’m fine. can we stop talking about it now.” the question came out more like a statement. “allison, you like to shop, where to?”

“i do _not_ like to shop,” allison scoffed. diego eyed her suspiciously. “okay, maybe just a bit.” diego nodded in satisfaction. “i guess we could go to sephora. there’s some nice stuff there.” five shrugged.

“i don’t see why not.” allison squealed and grabbed five’s wrist. they winced, remembering when they had to cut a tracker out of it. had it only been two weeks since they’d done so?

diego followed behind the two, his hands shoved into his pockets. he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been shopping, or the last time he’d hung out with allison. they hadn’t been very close as kids which was partly due to allison being so close with luther. that was in the past, though. diego guessed he could finally enjoy his sister’s company.

“are you sure i’m allowed in here? isn’t this a girl’s place?” diego looked at the sign to the store. allison turned back to face him, her hand still clutching five’s wrist.

“stores don’t have genders, diego.”

"shut up," diego grumbled. he could’ve committed fratricide right then and there if he wanted to. allison rolled her eyes, but complied. she let go of five’s wrist and turned to the store again. 

“we should go in. you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” diego sighed. he decided it’d be best to stick with his siblings.

the trio walked into the store. a worker shot them a confused glance. she walked over to them, and allison felt herself grip onto five’s shoulders like a mother would with her child.

“i’m sorry, but could you please take your son out of the store? he might make the ladies uncomfortable.” the worker paid no attention to diego. allison frowned. diego stepped forward and opened his mouth to speak, but five was quicker.

“i’m not her son.”

“nephew?”

“no.”

“brother?”

“i’m not a boy.”

“sure you are! i don’t know what your sister was thinking about bringing you in here with all these adult women.” the worker seemed to notice diego. “you understand, right? you must be his brother. you know how young boys’ minds can easily be distracted by ladies like these!”

“my pronouns are they/them.” five pushed a loose strand of hair out of their face. allison’s grip tightened. all four of them could feel eyes watching them.

“those are plural pronouns, silly! you can’t use them!”

“respect my pronouns or i’ll have my brother stab you to death after i saw off your foot,” five warned with an innocent smile. the worker moved back. she had a look of terror on her face. “i can shop wherever i want. if anyone feels uncomfortable with me, they can leave. and don’t call me ‘young’. you’re half my age, dimwit.”

“five, that’s enough,” allison hissed in their ear. five frowned and glared at the lady. she backed away from them slowly. 

diego sighed. he nudged five gently with his elbow. “c’mon, let’s go find you some new clothes.”

“how long are they going to take in there?” diego complained to his sister. allison frowned.

“women’s clothing is harder to put on. give them some time.” diego rested his head on allison’s shoulder as they sat in front of five’s changing room.

“shit!” a loud bang came from five’s dressing room. allison and diego jumped out of their seats. allison walked over to the room cautiously.

“five, hon, you alright in there?” allison knocked on the door gently. five huffed. “will you open the door if you’re decent?”

“no,” five replied frantically. “i look horrible.” five said the last part under his breath, but diego heard it.

“step back, i’m picking the lock,” diego whispered to allison. she gave him a confused glance, but stepped away from the door anyway. it didn’t take long for diego to pick the lock. “i hope you’re decent.” he swung the door open.

five’s eyes widened in shock. they stepped away from the door. “i told you to stay out!” they barked. they looked down at the ground. they knew that diego and allison were going to mock them for the outfit they had chosen.

he was proven wrong when allison squealed in delight.

“you look amazing! do a little spin, we’ll see how it looks from the back.” five looked back up at her and confusion flickered in their eyes. they couldn’t help but smile once they realized allison meant it. they spun around slowly. they wore a black skirt that came down just above their knees. they also had on a checkered shirt that tucked into the skirt with a blue bomber jacket over it.

diego smiled. “damn, you look great in a skirt. klaus could never.” five felt their face flush. they weren’t used to receiving compliments.

“are you okay? did we say something wrong?” allison was clearly concerned. five didn’t know why until they felt tears streaming down their cheeks. they grinned toothily.

“thank you. thank you so much.” five couldn’t remember the last time they’d thanked someone sincerely.

diego moved forward and wrapped his arms around five. five felt stiff for a moment before melting into the hug. allison moved over and wrapped her arms around both of them.

“i love you guys,” five whispered. they’d never said it aloud before, but it was true.

“we love you too, five.” five chuckled airily. they decided then that they could get used to hanging out with their siblings more often. 

**Author's Note:**

> LEAVE A COMMENT I'M LITERALLY. BEGGING


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